RIP JS.

office@burnleyconservatives.com

But one must ask the question: How can the merger  of two of the town's most successful schools result in this? The Labour County Council's meddling is surely to blame. Very few of the teachers wanted the merger, and few of the children and parents.

Miss Gill Broom, Hameldon's Headteacher, is regularly given stick for the poor behaviour that goes on in her school.

Yes she now finds herself demonised in the local press for having excluded a pupil for what his mother considers to be a minor offence.

You can't accuse of her of being too hard and too soft in the same breath.

Is it a newspaper that loves to record bad things, or do we just live in a town in which very few nice things takes place?

DEAR Kitty Ussher, how wonderful it must be to be Welsh.

We the taxpayers under this divisive incompetent collection of fools are to pay 20p per item extra for our prescriptions, when iechyd da! the Welsh pay absolutely nothing – nil pence – oh how good is devolution???

One day soon your party's desperation to cling on to power by giving billions of OUR tax revenue to Hollyrood and wherever the Welsh Assembly is hiding, will cast you in to the Dustbin of Politics where you most certainly belong.

ALAN COX, Eskdale Close, Reedley

STEVEN Smith, in a bid to secure further publicity for his bizarre political party, wrote to your letters page explaining how "grateful" and "honoured" he felt to have attempted to represent the people of Daneshouse and Stoneyholme at the recent by-election. Does this mean he'll be contesting this same seat in May? I suspect not.

ALAN MARSDEN, Alma Street, Padiham

but then we do live in a totalitarian state which is virtually undemocratic, do we not?!

No, we do not. The fact you were able to have your letter printed demonstrates this well enough.

Tony Blair called Gordon Brown into his office one day and said,
"Gordon, I have a great idea! We are going to go all out to win back
Middle England".
"Good idea PM, how will we go about it?" said Brown.
"Well' said Blair "we'll get ourselves two of those long Barbour
coats, some proper wellies ' a stick and a flat cap, oh and a
Labrador. Then we'll really look the part. We'll go to a nice old
country pub, in Much Something or other or one of those villages and
we'll show we really enjoy the Countryside"
"Right PM" said Brown.

So a few days later, all kitted out and with the requisite Labrador
at heel, they set off from London in a westerly direction. Eventually
they arrived at just the place they were looking for and found a
lovely country pub and, with the dog, went in and up to the bar.

"Good evening Landlord, may we have two pints of your best ale, from
the wood" said Blair.
"Good evening Prime Minister" said the landlord, "two pints of best
it is, coming up"

Blair and Brown stood leaning on the bar drinking their beer and
chatting, nodding now and again to those who came into the bar for a
drink.

The dog lay quietly at their feet. All of a sudden, the door from the
adjacent bar opened and in came a grizzled old shepherd, complete
with crook. He walked up to the Labrador, lifted its tail and looked
underneath, Shrugged his shoulders and walked back to the other bar.
A few moments later, in came another old shepherd with his crook. He
walked up to the dog, lifted its tail, looked underneath, scratched
his head and went back to the other bar.

Over the course of the next hour or so another four or five shepherds
came in, lifted the dog's tail and went away looking puzzled.
Eventually Blair and Brown could stand it no longer and called the
barman over. "Tell me" said Blair, "why did all those old shepherds
come in and look under the dog's tail like that? Is it an old custom?"
"Good Lord no," said the barman. "Its just that someone has told them
that there was a Labrador in this bar with two a**eholes".

...Well the first bit's wrong, but the second bit's certainly true. Someone has very kindly enrolled me as a member of the New Party. Apparently, membership is free, which is quite revealing.

When I get a spare five minutes, I'll read through all the bumff they've sent me, and let you know the score.

And yes, it's gone up by a few pounds. I'm cross, but not as cross I was for the past five years. When Labour were in charge, you always kind of supected that it need not be so high. With the Conservatives writing this year's budget, you at least know that this is about as efficient and fair a council tax demand as you're likely to get.

Very possibly.

CCHQ’s new location and postal address is:

     30 Millbank
     London
     SW1P 4DP

www.theyworkforyou.com